Person-Centered Therapy

Person-centered therapy, which originated in the work of Carl Rogers, is a method based on the assumption that we all have the potential for personal development and that each person adapts most effectively to the circumstances of their life. Then, it is through an actualizing tendency, which we all possess, that the person adjusts when changing life circumstances require it. Discomfort appears when, due to blockages, the person is unable to “actualize” and remains in old patterns, which were useful in the past but are currently maladaptive.

The therapeutic process consists of providing a safe space and establishing a therapeutic relationship centered on the person’s experience and based on the principle that the client is the main expert on their life. A climate of openness, freedom, empathy, acceptance, and authenticity helps the person regain self-confidence and recover the ability to make relevant decisions in their life in a self-responsible way.

Therefore, this approach is not based on a hierarchical relationship, in which the therapist gives specific instructions related to supposedly desired behavior, but rather it is through a process in which the therapist accompanies the person so that they can figure out what they truly need and want, in a horizontal and non-directive relationship.

My therapeutic work starts from this intervention framework, but not in a dogmatic way. Depending on the particularities of each person, it may be useful to work with other techniques indicated as complementary, such as mindfulness exercises or experiential techniques. In some stages of the therapeutic process, it may also be important to pay attention to cognitive-behavioral aspects, that is, the empirical manifestation of the person’s internal state. From a holistic perspective, the person is conceived as an interaction between internal and external, physical and psychological, mental, emotional, and relational aspects, and therefore, the aim is to see at each moment at what level it is appropriate to focus the therapeutic work in order to dynamize the change process.

Psychological Counseling

Many times it is not necessary to undertake a therapeutic process. Some problems can be resolved through psychological counseling. The simple act of expressing discomfort, giving it form and structure, obtaining a different point of view within the framework of a therapeutic relationship and from a professional perspective, can already provide a good part of its solution. For example, when dealing with problems related to work or family situations, with some impulses that consist of seemingly small adaptations, significant changes (or second-order changes, according to systemic theory) can occur for well-being and daily life functioning.

Just some examples of cases in which psychological counseling might be indicated would be:

• Recurrent problems in dealing with and educating children, such as difficulties in establishing routines.
• Problems in decision-making, for example in the work or study environment.
• Conflicts of interest (and possible pangs of conscience) in the area of friendships, work, or family.
• Problems in managing some area of life such as vital time, economic issues, professional issues, relational issues, personal projects, etc.

Anxiety and Depression Treatment

Anxiety disorders and mood spectrum disorders (major depression, dysthymia, bipolar disorder) are the most typical disorders that come to mind when thinking about outpatient psychological care. They are also among the psychological disorders with the highest prevalence (5.4% depressive episodes (INE, 2020), 6.7% anxiety disorders (Ministerio de Sanidad, 2020)) in our society, and this is obviously also related to our lifestyle. The demands of postmodern life, the high pace at which everything operates, the excess of possibilities that makes us constantly make decisions and have to give up a large part of these possibilities (fear of missing out), current communication methods, which keep us in constant contact but often in a superficial way. All of these are factors that facilitate a disconnection from ourselves and our emotional world, from the here and now.

Grief, losses, and adaptive problems

Life is a continuum of beginnings and endings, of welcomes and goodbyes. Each event of this type has some impact on us. These impacts can be more at a material or emotional level, they can involve changes in our routines, our lifestyle, our social relationships, and also more internal factors like our identity. Most of these changes we assimilate without problems, adapting to the new circumstances.

However, in some cases, we find it difficult to overcome a loss. For example, when the impact is very strong or when the required adaptations are not easily reconcilable with our self-concept. It can also be the mere accumulation of impacts in a short time, which can cause a collapse of our capacity for adaptation. When we suffer a loss, experiencing a certain grief is normal and necessary to be able to close the circle. The greater the impact of a loss, the more pain we usually experience and the longer it usually takes to overcome it. We usually seek and receive comfort in our social environment, and this is precisely one of its functions.

Specifically, a grieving process consists of a series of phases. It can happen that one gets stuck in one of these phases and cannot move forward. Sometimes daily life is so demanding that we don’t allow ourselves to go through the process, and this omission falls back on us later, or for other reasons, we avoid confronting the pain. In these cases, a therapeutic process can be of great help and relief.

Also in cases of other complicated life phases and events, such as changes in the family (birth of children or grandchildren, children leaving home, separations/divorces), job loss and other work problems, changes of address, study problems, health problems, etc., adaptive problems can occur that can cause a great deal of discomfort and despair. A therapeutic process is focused on providing relief, helping to develop coping strategies, gaining clarity and security to make decisions, and generating empowerment to influence those things that are within reach as well as accepting those that are not.

Well-being and personal growth

Currently, the concept of personal growth has become a fashionable concept. It implies that everything is already fine as it is, but that we would like to receive more from life, optimize it, reach an ideal state, an imaginary goal. I personally don’t like this “capitalist” concept and for me, working on personal growth will often have to do with slowing down, with renunciation, prioritization, acceptance, tolerance, affection, and gratitude. Both outwards and inwards. Many times, what is done is not as important as how and when, and very importantly, what is stopped doing. It is about accepting the process that life consists of, undertaking it with enthusiasm, curiosity, dignity, and humility, freeing oneself from the need to reach a state of achievement where everything is done.

To work on this area from my point of view, it is useful to use mindfulness techniques, pay attention to the details of daily life at a more behavioral and structural level, as well as analyze the most fundamental questions of life. Our motivations, desires, and goals. I consider it essential to adopt a critical attitude and question these aspects, put them to the test, and possibly find out that some were imposed on us from the outside without being aware of it. Reaching this understanding gives us the freedom to find what truly comes from within us, give ourselves permission to live as we truly desire, and in a way that generates balance and well-being in a lasting and sustainable way.

Couple’s Therapy

The expectations we currently have towards romantic relationships are more complex than in the past, when they basically fulfilled survival and procreation functions. Now we no longer depend on our partner to cover basic needs and as a consequence, we are free to consider whether what the relationship provides is enough to continue it. We can afford to have higher and more diverse demands on our partner. This increases the pressure on both parts of the couple and sometimes results in disappointments, increasingly deep wounds, and falling into psychological games that manifest as repetitive conflicts that are only substitutes for the real problems. These are often fears, wounds, and traumas from childhood. We usually choose our partners precisely based on these shortcomings or wounds with the unconscious purpose and desire to fix what is wounded in us, placing a responsibility on the partner that does not belong to them. Furthermore, maintaining this expectation towards the other person reinforces our lack and makes us less free and independent.

In couple’s therapy, first of all, it is about taking communication to another level. Leaving the level of superficial daily conflicts and getting to the root. The goal is to create a space in which both members of the couple can lower their defenses and show their fears and weaknesses, allowing the other to understand the real needs and the wounds on which these are based. From there, forms of interaction based on mutual care and respect can be generated, abandoning unhealthy behavior patterns. At the same time, it is important to work on the aspects of each part of the couple that are being projected onto the other, in order to reduce the weight of responsibility that each member places on the other and thus become emotionally more independent people, free to contribute the best of themselves.